Death Before Dishonor and Always Before Dinner

Revenge:A Klingon Thanksgiving Favorite  

 

	50 jumbo tribbles	1 large fire
	1 lb. bloodberries	Insults
	10 gallons of any oil	Mockery
	Enemy-tear Salt	25 long sharp sticks

Dice and sneer at bloodberries (sneer less if substituting bileberries,) and place on ice. Over a large fire, burn all of the hair off of the tribbles before de-pitting with a tribble corer and set them aside. Fill a large vat or cauldron with lake water and bring it to an angry boil over the fire. Add tribbles and allow to boil for one week. Remove the tribbles with long sharp sticks, skewering two tribbles on each stick before standing the sticks in the ground evenly around the fire and leaning them slightly inward. Make a girl run around the fire and rotate the sticks one quarter turn every pass until the tribbles are evenly caramelized to a deep shade of dark black. Remove from heat and season to taste with enemy-tear salt, then pepper them with insults and mockery until satisfied. For Sweet Revenge, sprinkle tribbles with fresh orphan tribble tears. Dispose of the stock in an approved container, then pour the oil into the unwashed vat or cauldron and bring it to an infuriated boil.

Plate tribbles with chilled bloodberries, and follow ancient Klingon tradition by serving it cold along with iron mugs of frothy boiling oil!

Beware: Revenge is a hearty Klingon dish for hearty Klingons. If your Day of Honor guest list contains Vulcans, Vegans, Catullian Space Hippies, or others who may be too weak to survive, you may serve them Algae puffs in a mild seaweed broth along with chilled mugs (not to heavy) of diluted water. Try to make your presentation look like the other plates so these guests do not become "uncomfortable" and start to snivel and whine even more than they probably already will; and next year, maybe you will try to use a little more discretion when you make out your guest list.