Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Alle Meine Deutsch

The German I Think I Know

I've never made a serious effort to learn the German language, but I do know some. I recently had the pleasure of working with a group of German students, and I was quite surprised by how much Deutsch I (think I) spreche. I've picked most of it up locally because South Texas has a considerable German population.

I'm only posting it to the Salad Bowl here because it occurred to me "The German I Think I Know" list might be pretty funny to a native speaker of the language.

In school, I helped Japanese students with the finer points of idiomatic English, and I learned to appreciate their (very different) sense of humor.  In that spirit, I embark on yet another socially dubious blog post with a high potential for offending everyone involved.  If you are offended, please remember that I am of Viking stock; we don't understand being offended because the worst you can say about us is usually true.

I won't try to correct my German spelling, and I'll resist the temptation to Google anything until after I post.

Format:
German Word or Phrase - (Literal meaning guess) What I think it means or what it means to me. - Additional note(s).
  1. Volkswagen - (Folk's wagon) My first car! and 4th car, and 5th car(van).
  2. Bis nachstes Mal - (Until next time) I learned this from a German girl in grammar school.  Some things never leave you. :)
  3. Auf Wierdersein - (on to see again) Goodbye -  She said this too, but "Bis Nachstes Mal" had that sexy German "I'm going to hit you in the face with a shovel" ring to it.
  4. Gesundheit - (Health)  A favorite because it seems like a magic spell; someone has a cold and sneezes, so Germans declare "HEALTH!"
  5. Schwien haben  (I have a pig) I'm lucky, you're lucky, we're all lucky to have a pig. YAY! -Sure, if you're starving I guess, but if you've ever actually HAD a pig, it doesn't feel all that lucky. -This is similar to the inexplicable and very British idiomatic phrase, "Bob's your uncle."
  6. Macht Snell - (?) Right here and now dammit! -No idea what this really means, but when my Grandmother said it, she did not mean "maybe when you get the time."  Her mom was very German.  My great grandmother, Modi, died when I was very young, but I think she was responsible for my notion that German women are always busy cleaning everything, and they do it with with boiling water, bleach, and/or fire.  -People who had zero idea what this meant would suddenly haul ass when my Grandmother yelled, "Macht Snell!"
  7. Farfegnugen - (?)  Comfort  -From the Volkswagen commercials.  -I always suspected it didn't really mean anything---just a advertising word, I mean---I OWNED three Volkswagens and comfort never entered into it.  Maybe it's a German word for things that keep going even after they catch on fire and blow up.
  8. Vas est luse Yunga  - (What is loose younger?) German kids in Marion, Texas always said this as a sort of greeting.  No Idea what (if anything) it might mean.  I tried it with some native Germans and they had no clue what I was trying to say.
  9. Nein (no) no.
  10. Ja (yes) yes.
  11. Na?, or Naaaaa? - (?) The meaning of this Meta-syntactical word seems to be determined by special German-only telepathic powers. -I've over heard  entire conversations where Germans just say nothing but "Na" to each other.  Japanese, which I actually speak fairly well, has a phrase that works the same way---"Sooo desu ne..."  
  12. Ich bine ein Berliner - (I am a Berliner(person from Berlin)): Something President Kennedy said about for months before he was assassinated. Never say this.
  13. Bier - (Beer) Soda pop.
  14. Bock - (Beer) Good beer.
  15. Dobblebock - (double beer?)  great beer.  - Each 16 oz. glass has the same calorie count as a loaf of bread.
  16. Ech besorge das bier - (I'll buy the beer) You buy the pizza
  17. Ich spreche kein Deutsch - (I don't speak German) Apparently, the most confusing German phrase I know.  When you say this to a German, he will speak German to you for about five minutes.
  18. Bitte/Danke - (please/thank you)
  19. Guten Morgen/Nacht - (Good Morning/Night)
  20. Dusche - (Shower)  Related to, BUT REALLY REALLY NOT what it sounds like in English.

BONUS! 
In the above, I avoided listing the inordinate number of German foods I love, but here are a few of my favorites:
  1. Bratwurst, Knockwurst... basically anything with the suffix -wurst
  2. Braunschwahigger 
  3. Kasler and Sauerkraut (or anything and Sauerkraut)
  4. Schweinsbraten
  5. Spatzel  
  6. Hasenpfeffer
  7. Pfeffer
  8. Hasen
  9. Sauerbraten 
  10. Strudel
  11. Knodel
  12. Snitzels in any form, but best served swimming in a ocean of mushroom gravy!

UPDATE - 04/07/2016

One of my German readers, Thomas of Hamburg (lately of Berlin,) gave me some amusing insights on this post.  

  1. Macht Snell ~ Hurry up!!!!!!!!!!
  2. Farfegnugen - driving+pleasure
  3. Vas est luse Yunga (Was ist los, Junge) - What´s going on, boy? probably better What´s up, man?
  4. Schwein haben ~ being lucky without deserving it.  Probably from the middle ages when pigs were given as consolation prizes at tournament.
...and my favorite
      5. Thomas tells me that in areas outside of Berlin, "Berliner" is the name of a cake/cookie, so those people took Kennedy to have said "I am a cookie."


 

 Thanks a million Thomas!  I hope the Tony Christie show is not to trocken.